You’re fully upgradable

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I can’t forget this:

Sometimes I’ll feel like I completely get it.

know what it is that I need to do…and I feel so determined and ready….

…But then before I know it, I find myself slipping back into old patterns, procrastinating, doing the complete opposite of all I was going to do.

What I’ve personally discovered is that there’s a sizeable difference between knowing something and truly internalizing something.  There’s a reason why forcing myself to take action can so easily fizzle out– it’s because my mind needs to catch up and become comfortable with the new external actions and develop new neurological pathways for it.

I often find myself being blindsided by a great epiphany during which I suddenly realize all the changes I need to make to get myself going to where I want.  I write it down, I get lost in introspection about it, I fortify myself with willpower…

And then my friend is inviting me out for drinks or someone says something uninspiring, or I simply wake up the next morning, and I find myself back in my old mindset.

So what happened?  Was it all disillusion?  Am I not strong enough for this?  Am I not worthy of my goals?

What happened was a shift in perspective (powerful stuff) and just experiencing one is groundbreaking enough.

It’s like trying out a demo for a new computer program and getting a taste and feel of a new interface and capabilities.

The thing is that I now need to sit with it for a bit.  Let it churn in the back of my mind throughout the day.

I usually have to think about something for a good long while before I happen to truly feel it inside one day — the readiness of being finally done with the way things are and that I’m ready to make true steps towards change.

Then I’ll go through a jagged line-graph of executing and then falling back a little, then taking major action, then resting a bit, and endless fluctuation until the new way of life has fully taken hold.

It’s like getting an enormous new powerful software that can take weeks, months, or years to fully install.

But as it slowly does, I can start to make use of what new functions it gives me.

So don’t see it as a failure if you’re not taking full control yet.

The biggest thing is that you understand it and you really really want it.

Just because things “aren’t happening” yet doesn’t mean they’re never going to, or that you’re not cut out for it.

If you’re thinking about it on a daily basis it’s already working it’s way into your system.

How quickly it gets in there is up to you, but don’t get dismayed if you’re not seeing you life metamorph yet.

It takes time to be fully ready to quit something that’s making you unhappy, get something really started, or make big changes with things you previously thought were ingrained in you.

What matters is knowing that you can be defragmented, reprogrammed, and can create amazing things with said new programming.  All powerful changes start within.

You’re fully upgradable.

2 thoughts on “You’re fully upgradable

  1. This was such a great blog. Your software installation and whole computer reprogramming/upgrade analogies were so on point and I really enjoyed them! I second the last person’s comment that you would make a great therapist.

    So much of what you discussed in your blog displays such great awareness, which is really more than half the battle. The process you talked about going through with yourself is really the process of therapy. There are tons of pebbles of progress that when added up amount to this mountain of change. It’s a slow, yet moving process and sometimes a there’s a little rock slide, but that just gives you strength to collect more pebbles and stack them better the next time. Keep that great awareness you have and remain patient with your process…before you know it that adjustment you wanted to make will be made. =)

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